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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

August 26, 2009

It’s been a very long time since I’ve been here. Truth is that I haven’t had much to say. My adventure with that nasty cancer ended not with a bang but with a whimper. In four more years I can say I’m cancer free. Mrs. Raballard insists that there is some kind of cosmic rule in waiting for five years has passed before such joyous announcements can be made. I can’t for the life of me figure out why, but she is always right. So you’ll have to come back in four years to ffind out that I’m cancer free. Sorry I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.

I know we all looked forward to a new adventure when I learned that the yucky liquid forced upon me prior to my cancer surgery could cause kidney failure. Please don’t be too disappointed that my kidney is doing just fine. Remember I’m old and could break down at anytime. Alas, there doesn’t appear to be any grand adventure in the very near future.

Please don’t ask about the evil, wicked, alien device that was implanted in my nether regions. That adventure is too personal, and uncomfortable. I was told by my psychotic doctor that it is only a matter of time before the device becomes like a second nature to me. Sure, like I’m going to believe that. My pace maker/garage door opener was forcibly implanted four years ago, and it still floats to the surface once in awhile. There is no adventure here either.

Many of you have commented on my platform, thanks. I’m not to sure how long I can keep my platform standing, as it is jimmy-rigged together with great quantities of duct tape and a good size was of chewing gum. I’m still not completely sure why I need a platform. Someone on twitter told me the platform was to see just how recognizable I am on the World Wide Web. Being recognized on the World Wide Web has never been a goal of mine. Of course being recognized on the North American Wide Web is a plus.

I wonder if there is any adventure to be had in reporting just how Raballard is received in his quest for web recognition. Na, it would only read like a report on Raballard, but I do so love reports, so here goes. (I would like to mention that this is not an interactive report; however feel free to Google along with me.)

Google raballard and magically 5340 hits come up; most of them are hits about me. Good deal, huh. Wrong. I send my query letters out under my real name, hint Ballard is not my real last name, so 5340 raballard hits does me no good at all. Now Google my real last name, yup you get exactly 16 hits. Not exactly Earth shattering.

The name of my juvenile fantasy is Tenebrae. That’s a great name isn’t it? There is one eensie-teensie problem with that Google search, seems as if the word Tenebrae is a very common Latin word. The search found over 550000 sites. I don’t know if any of them relate to me, I gave up after the first page of results.

Tenebrae has its own web-site, and gets a little over 100 visits a month, but that number is not enough to get any agents attention. I don’t even mention the web-site in my query.

My latest work, The Last Chance, has garnered a smattering of success, but not enough to build a platform around.

Well there you have it, a report on my lack of adventures, and my very wobbly platform. Please feel free to leave a comment. I hear comments help support a make-shift platform.

Tenebrae's web-site