CHAPTER SEVEN

THE PERMISSION SLIP

So far, these chapters don’t have much to do with Alexander’s quest, and I feel you deserve an explanation. Here it is: you’ll thank me later if you know about the bad guys before we jump headfirst into the adventure. Yes, there are very, terrible characters lurking in the chapters ahead.

“We must show the kid the documents provided by the Council,” O’Toole said in a whisper.

“I didn’t think humans could see anything the Council provides.” Malley gazed at Alexander through a knothole in the tattered fence where the leprechauns crouched. The fence was rotting in places and provided few places to hide.

“We have no other choice. He must see them before he’ll agree to this mission.”

Malley shook his head.

“Then, it’s agreed. We reappear to the child and show him what’s possible.”

A voice on the other side of the fence asked, “Show me what?”

Malley squeaked and placed his hand on his heart to see if it was still beating. “Alexander, someone should place a bell around your neck.”

“It isn’t wise up to sneak up on a leprechaun, just saying,” added O’Toole. “Meet us on the other side of your shed. We have something you need to see.”

The meeting of two leprechauns and one child has only taken place one other time in the annals of history, when Jack the Mellow met with Piney the Elder and Elmer the Wise, and we all know what happened then. No? Well, that is for another time. This story is about Alexander. If you want a history of the human-leprechaun relationship, I suggest you buy the History of Leprechauns.

                                                                       

 “One more time, and then we need to get down to business,” O’Toole said impatiently. He pulled the scroll from his vest pocket and tore it to shreds. The shreds pieced themselves together and became whole again, much to Alexander’s delight.

      “Again!” demanded Alexander. His eyes sparkled as O’Toole tore the permission slip in half again. Magically, the halves became a whole paper.

“Do you think I could try it?” asked the boy who assumed tearing paper and mending it would impress his classmates at school.

“No—”

Malley interjected. “We’ll teach you the trick once you sign the form.”

“Well, your mission sounds cool, but I’m running away the first chance I get.” Alexander grabbed the magic scroll, but O’Toole was too quick.

O’Toole stuffed the parchment into his vest pocket. “Why are you running away?”

Alexander crossed and stared in another direction. “None of your business.”

“Aren’t you tired of this stuff yet, kid?” Malley asked as he watched a butterfly dart in and out of the flowers along the side of the white shed. He could hardly hide his boredom. “Do you understand why we returned?”

Alexander nodded. “Yeah, something about snakes and witches.” His eyes fixed on the scroll in O’Toole’s pocket.

Malley rubbed his forehead in frustration. They’d been talking to the boy for the better half of an hour when Alexander’s brother walked into the backyard and looked right through Alexander as if he wasn’t there. He picked up his wooden sword and left without as much as a how-do-you-do.

“No, nothing about snakes or witches…” O’Toole stopped and looked at his friend for some assistance.

Malley swatted a few bees away. “What my friend means is, yes, there will be snakes, witches, and The Unspeakable Creatures. We promised you an adventure, and we keep our promises.”

Alexander’s eyes widened at the mention of unknown creatures, impressed that Malley was an expert on such things. Of course, Malley was not, but Alex wouldn’t know that until later.

Malley hushed O’Toole by picking up a broken sword and whacking on the shoulder. “The forest animals tend to leave leprechauns well enough alone. Shall we get to the meat of the matter?”

      Alex eyed him with suspicion mixed with curiosity.

      “You don’t want to be an average, everyday type of runaway. It’s so cliché and boring.” Malley crouched close to Alexander’s ear and whispered, “Might as well make it an adventure to remember, if your mind is made up to venture out on your own.”

Alexander plopped to the ground, shivered, and hugged his knees to his chest. The afternoon air was cold, and he’d rather be in his room planning where and how to run away from home. He wished his imaginary friend were around to help him decide what to do. “Th-th-th-the creatures usually leave leprechauns alone, but what about little boys?”

Malley looked as if the question hurt him. He blinked twice and rubbed his arm. “I have no idea. This is our only encounter with a boy since that day.” He rubbed his chin. “I suppose we’ll see.”

“Do they eat boys?” Alexander asked.

“We don’t know.” Malley held his finger to his lips. “But look on the bright side. We’ll most likely not make it that far. We do have to make it to Morgan first.”

“Who is Morgan,” asked Alexander.

“We are getting ahead of ourselves,” Malley continued. “O’Toole, have you forgotten about getting beyond the King and his minions?”

The older leprechaun shrugged his shoulders. “Nobody promised this would be easy. With great sacrifices comes great satisfaction. Do you know what you need to do?”

Alexander stared at the corner of the house.

“You’ve traumatized the child, and we didn’t even get the permission slip signed.” O’Toole said as he waved his hand in front of Alex. “We’ll get sued for sure. I hope you’re happy.”

Alexander stared at O’Toole before speaking. “I‘m supposed to get my parents to sign the permission slip, and I can’t tell them what it’s for.”

“Wrong. You can tell them the truth, but they’ll never believe you, trust me,” O’Toole stated.

“Tell me again, why am I doing this crazy mission?”

“Someone or something stole our unicorns. The Council drew your name from a hat. It will be fun,” he lied. The Council would never do such a thing. “You like to have fun, don’t you?”

“Right. A unicorn, snakes, witches, and fun—a boy couldn’t ask for anything more.” Alexander stood up and dusted off his trousers as he looked at the house. “I can’t even leave the yard without permission. Can’t one of you get my parents to sign this?”

“You forgot the unknown creatures and the King.” O’Toole slapped Alexander on the lower back as encouragement. “And no, the Council has stipulated we can’t get one of your parents to sign anything.”

“Hand me the permission slip. I’m ready.” Alex stuck out his hand.

O’Toole fished a new document from his pocket and handed it to the boy. Alexander threw his shoulders back and marched towards the back door as the afternoon sun was directly overhead.

                                                                 

He found his father exactly where he thought he’d be—in the kitchen tutoring his brother in the fine arts of swordplay footwork.

“No, no, no, it’s parry, parry, swish, swish, and then lunge.” His father jerked the wooden sword from his brother’s hand and showed him how to defeat a mop with a simple, parry, parry, swish, swish and lunge. “Now you do it exactly as I showed you.”

Alexander pitied the poor mop. It appeared to have taken the brunt of many practice sword fights. He wished the mop could fight back. With a fake smile, he walked to his father, eyeing his brother suspiciously. “Father, I have a permission slip for you to sign.”

His brother sneered and slapped his pretend sword into the palm of his hand. Father looked at the paper and returned it. “The paper is blank. What do you need permission for?”

“It’s not blank. It’s magical.”

Dad scratched his head as his brother took a menacing step closer. “Magical, huh? I don’t sign any documents written in invisible ink. There’s no telling what a magician can add to such a document. I could sign my life away, for all I know. Or conscript your brother into the Army.”

 Brother cringed and took three steps backward, tripping on a chair.

“I’ll ask you again. What do you need my permission for?”

“I’m going to go with some leprechauns and play with deadly snakes.” Alex leaned against the kitchen counter.

Dad raised an eyebrow.

“How about I’m going to the mountains to wrestle unknown creatures?” Alexander continued.

His father shook his head.

“We’re going to hang out at some evil mall.” That’s pushing the truth. All the leprechauns said was that maybe Morgan would eat him.

“Son, leprechauns don’t exist. Are you going to tell me the truth?”

Alexander sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “We are going on a field trip to the castle.”

“See, don’t you feel better? So, you’re going to go see how a malevolent dictatorship works—our tax money in action, so to speak.”

Alexander smiled and handed the pen to his father. He signed the paper and handed it back. Suddenly, from around the corner came the voice of his mother. She was in the den, forcing his sister to walk between chairs, balancing books on her head. He needed her signature too and headed toward the den.

Unfortunately, Alex ran smack dab into his brother, who mysteriously appeared at the doorway, clenching his teeth. “I know what you’re up to.”

Alexander cowered as he felt the splintery end of his brother’s wooden sword. “Up to?” he asked.

“Yes, you’re trying to take Father’s attention away from me. You’ve always been jealous of me. Admit it.”

“Well, to be truthful,” Alexander whispered in his brother’s ear, “I’m going away on a dangerous and long quest. I might die or something worse.”

A slight smile came across his brother’s lips. “Die? Well, in that case, have a nice trip.”

Alexander darted away from his brother and into the den. “Mom…”

His mother shushed him, and with the wave of her hand motioned him to come closer. She signed the permission paper without taking her watchful eyes from her daughter’s performance.

“What have I signed?” she asked, glancing down long enough for Alex’s sister to sneak out of the room.

“I’m going on a field trip,” explained Alex.

“Oh. Well, take some clean underwear with you. And… and… where has your sister disappeared to?” she demanded, scanning the den.

“I don’t know,” said Alex, shrugging.

“Go find her!” ordered his mother.

                                                                 

Alex got the signatures and now could run away now with a clear conscience. He didn’t care if he faced snakes or creatures, or even if witches ate him. All he knew was that his family wouldn’t miss him.

He ran into his sister in the hallway, holding THE HISTORY OF PAGEANTS in her hands, like a club. She growled at her brother like a rabid dog. Alexander thought the only thing missing might be a foamy mouth.

“I know what you’re up to, and it won’t work,” she sneered.

“You know about my quest?” Alexander asked.

“Quest, ha. I know you are trying to steal what is rightfully mine.” She hefted the book over her head.

“You want to be the one who gets to play with the snakes and get eaten by a witch?” He smiled. “You wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Stop talking nonsense. I know you are trying to steal Mother’s love and attention away from me.”

“What? Steal attention? From you? I could never do that, Princess. Mother, would not allow it.”

 “I saw Mom signing something for you. She does nothing for you.”

Alexander shook the paper in her face. “Oh, you mean this?” Folding the document neatly, he placed it back into his pocket. “She doesn’t care about me, never has, and never will.” He sidestepped his sister and skipped down the walkway. He stopped long enough to pick up a broken sword on his way to the waiting leprechauns. “The paper is permission for me to go on a dangerous quest. I will most likely die a horrible death while I am gone.”

His sister yelled at him as he rounded the corner of the shack. “Die? Promise.”