Chapter Eleven

The Food Taster’s Die-t

Janet and Maggie stepped into their study. Appleton, unaware of their entrance, as he was paying too much attention to a fly as it buzzed from one spot to another. The fly didn’t know the toad was considering him as a light snack. Appleton, with the agility of a great hunter, poised himself for the strike, his tongue slowly unfurling towards the fly.

“Harrumph, Appleton,” Maggie said sharply, “You have lost your manners. Since when did it become unfashionable to bow when royalty enters a room?”

He jumped, his tongue, only centimeters from the oblivious fly, snapped back into his mouth with a loud popping sound. “My humblest apologies, your Evilness’s, I was just going for an afternoon snack,” sputtered the toad.

The fly heard the pop and turned around. “Whew,” he said, wiping his forehead, “That was close.” He flew away, unaware that royalty had entered the room but glad not to be an afternoon snack.

“Appleton, how dare you think about yourself on such a momentous occasion? You should be thinking only of us.”

“We have been waiting for such a long time for this to happen, Appleton. Give us some time to savor the moment.”

Janet and Maggie stood facing each other, hands held in front and took a deep breath. They took a moment to shed just the correct amount of fake tears.

“Okay,” Janet said, “That is enough savoring. Appleton, where is our dearest little sister we have longed to be with, and her adorable little angelic daughter we have never had the pleasure of meeting?”

“Where’s Elizabeth and the kid?” amended Maggie.

Appleton backed away from the sisters. “Uh, you see, we do have Elizabeth but, Sara, the child, she was too heavily guarded. We have not been able to capture her yet, your Evilness’s,” he said as he bowed to the Princesses, trembling.

“What,” yelled Maggie and Janet in unison, their faces turning a lovely shade of purple.

“You incompetent fool of a toad; we ask one simple assignment of you. I can’t be….”

“Oh, dear daughters, could you help me?” Queen Hillary stepped into the room, “Oh my, was I interrupting something?”

“Oh, no, not at all dearest mother.” Maggie glared at the toad,” We were just visiting with our dear friend.”

The Queen motioned for the Princesses to join her at the door. “Are you aware, children,” she said. “You are speaking with a toad?”

“Oh, yes,” said Janet, “Toads are our friends.”

The Queen said, “They are disgusting creatures, and I’ve always thought they were disgusting creatures.”

“But mother,” said Maggie, “You made the toads, don’t you remember? You were angry at our dear father, and you turned him into a toad.”

“Ah, yes,” said the Queen, “I did, didn’t I? That was my toad phase and everyone I became angry with I turned into a toad. It was quite fun. They are still very disgusting. Janet that isn’t your father, is it?”

“No, mother. Appleton was your butler.”

“Oh, yes, I remember. He let a mosquito get into my room.”

“Mother,” said Maggie, “Did you want us for some reason?”

“Oh, yes,” said the Queen, “I almost forgot. I’m hungry, and I can’t find my food taster.”

“Oh, dear,” said Janet. “I forgot to tell you, Mommy, he quit. He decided to retire in the South. He left right after lunch this afternoon.”

 “I just don’t understand,” said the Queen. “I can’t keep a food taster for more than a week. They are always retiring or quitting. And none of them come to tell me. They don’t show up.”

“I know good help is so hard to find. I will send my groom to you. He can be your next taster.”

“Thank you, dear daughter. You are so good to me. I always enjoy it when you make my food like you made my lunch this afternoon. That was very sweet of you.”

“It is our pleasure, mother.”

“Send the groom to me immediately. I am ravenous.” The Queen stepped out of the door. Under her breath, she said, “Except the food those girls make is terrible. I must find a way to stop them from cooking for me.”

Janet laughed, “What happened to the taster this time, dearest sister?”

“I haven’t disposed of him yet. He’s right here.” Maggie lifted the top of a cabinet. Inside the cabinet was a dead body.

“Ew.”

“It’s the price we must pay, Appleton, and speaking of price’s to pay. There will be a price to pay if we don’t see that child here very soon.”

“Yes,” said Maggie, “We gave you strict orders for you to bring back our sister and our brat niece. I do not recall anything in the order about bringing our niece back if it was convenient.”

“We tried every effort to secure the girl. She was too elusive. Every time I thought I had her, one of those guardians would show up. I did manage to bring back your sister,” pleaded Appleton.

“Very well. Where have you hidden our dear Elizabeth?”

“Your sister is being held hostage in another room. Two of my men are guarding her as we speak.”

“Well, take us to see her you simpleton,” squealed Maggie.

“Yes, certainly your Evilness,” Appleton, bowed respectfully, “Did I mention we have located the White Manor where your niece is being given sanctuary? It is only a matter of time before my operatives break the security of The Manor,” Appleton boasted.

“Well, then, what are you doing here. Go finish the job you were sent to do.”

“Yes,” said Maggie, “And Appleton, I need not remind you, no one has disappointed us twice.”

“And lived to tell about it.” Janet handed Appleton his green sports coat.