March 21, 2009

Well I made it; my adventure is all down hill from here. It’s been a rough ten days. If you are the least bit squeamish about pain and suffering, this is the point where you should leave. However, if my ex-wife happens to be reading this, sit down you’re going to enjoy this.
What gives with scheduling adventures so dang early in the morning? Sure, I am going to sleep through the initial beginning of the adventure, but how about my dearest Mrs. Raballard and daughter Raballard? I got a peek inside the waiting room, it is kinda dinky, my dear support team could not sleep in such dire conditions. Mrs. Raballard said she would be unable to sleep anyway, something about being too worried. Daughter Raballard brought along stacks and stacks of school books, I will admit she took getting up early better this time than she did on my first adventure.

The first part of my adventure began exactly as my previous adventure began. I checked in with the hospitals concierge and showed him my yellow reservation ticket. I was given the ticket at my last meet and greet at the hospital. The R.N. told me “Don’t lose that yellow paper, as they will need it to prior to admitting you.” I begin to worry about the wisdom of the hospital staff. Here I am worried about my upcoming adventure and they hand me an important sacred document. To be fair to the hospital staff I was handed a similar sacred document prior to my last adventure, but Mrs. Raballard was there to shoulder the responsibility. I was alone at the meet and greet. Oh, dear I have gone off on a tangent, I kept the sacred yellow paper in a safe place, and it only took twenty minutes of frantic searching to locate the safe place.

The yellow ticket now safely in the hands of the hospital concierge, I was asked to repeat my name and birthday before they could give me my “your table is ready” buzzer. We didn’t have long to wait, my buzzer woke up Mrs. Raballard five minutes after we set down. My first tour guide was prepared to escort me to my first stop. What gives with the hospital staff’s short term memory receptors? My tour guide, I.V. administrator, gurney pusher, anesthesiologist, shot giver all asked me to repeat my name and birth date. All the information was readily available on my neat bracelet provided as an incentive. Each one of the staff I met along the way read my bracelet and asked me to repeat the information. It seems to me the hospital should be less concerned about me remembering who I am, the time to hire literate staff should be high on their to do list.

Let’s recap my morning. I arrived at the hospital with my yellow ticket. I have also been given a nifty new bracelet, complete with my name and birth date. Grilled and drilled to see if I remember the afore mentioned information. I was dressed in the official southern exposure adventure uniform. Poked and prodded by the Marquis de Sade I.V. nurse, either my veins refused to cooperate or she took extreme pleasure in turning me into a voodoo doll. I was then wheeled into the staging area. I spoke briefly to my Dr.Hekle /Mr. Hyde surgeon, and finally given a welcome to La-La Land martini. I was now ready to face my maker.

Where does the time go? I thought I might be able to get through my adventure with one blog. I have however run out of time. I promise to continue at a later date. Please come back, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. The pain and suffering hasn’t even started, you will want to be sure to be here for that. I do miss you if you are not here.

On a purely selfish note, I need two more follower to reach fourteen followers. Four more followers would give me sixteen. Both are great numbers. In the words of Captain Picard of Star Trek fame “Make it so number one”


PS For the older followers among you I should give a more dated plea. In the words of Yul Brynner of Ten Commandments fame “So let it be said, so let it be written”